Well hello there—and happy Tuesday! Welcome to the Mode/Switch Pod, a biweekly roundtable on work-culture questions. Our intergenerational team equips you to do more than cope when work’s a lot! This episode is for you, if you wish you could assert yourself at work—without creating more passive aggression.
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When I was in Northern Ireland, I enjoyed the roaming rights of a hiker. The Irish are much less concerned about property lines than Americans tend to be. Once, my wife and I were looking for a way up a bluff to the road, when we came across somebody’s backyard. We shrugged and turned away. Our American instincts were expressable in two words: stay out. But an Irishman called to us from another yard and waved us on. His gesture said, “Go on ahead—it’s not trespassing!”
And (you’re asking yourself) why is this guy talking about roaming rights and backyards?
To raise questions for this week’s work-culture podcast! We’re all a little territorial (we need our space), and we’re all a little lonely (we need our people). How can we assert ourselves without isolating ourselves? How can we (to get really practical) stave off burnout and stay connected with coworkers?
To adapt Robert Frost, what kind of fences make good working community?
Everywhere in Northern Ireland, you see low-slung walls between pastures like these. Photo credit: yours truly.
This week, our intergenerational crew—LaShone, Emily, Ken, David, and I—talk with psychotherapist Dana Skaggs about how to create strong but open boundaries at work. It’s not about building a fortress, or even a fence. It’s more like—well, you’ll have to listen to find out!
Dana’s good at finding the laughter in difficult conversations. She’s an easy-going communicator with a gift for vivid analogies. And we should know! We pushed her pretty hard, probing her advice for boundary-setting on the job, asking questions like:
Don’t boundaries become excuses for getting out of work?
Won’t boundary-setting make us all lonelier?
Aren’t boundaries easier for people who like conflict?
You know, it wasn’t really Robert Frost’s suggestion that good fences make good neighbors. Read the poem again, and you’ll see how he’s putting that idea in question.
But fences in the workplace raise questions about fences beyond the workplace. My wife and I felt this keenly in Northern Ireland last month, when we went on a “black taxi tour” and scribbled prayers on the Peace Wall in Belfast. The stories we heard made it feel urgent to learn how to keep boundaries from becoming barricades.
I publish the Mode/Switch each week—a newsletter one Tuesday, a podcast the next— because I believe the workplace can be a democracy laboratory, a space where we can seek ways to be just and generous humans together.
I believe this episode equips you for that good work.
-craig
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